someone's loss

I'm back. After 2 very tiring and stressful weeks, I can finally make my appearance here.

Few weeks ago, Ichu brought a very painful news to me. Our Popsie passed away. I was so surprised. I became numb and felt devastated. It took 15 minutes or so before it finally sank in.

I opened my phone to send Essie (Popsie's daughter, a close friend and a sister to us) a text message to make sure she's fine. I know how weak she can become when it comes to her family. But I don't know what to say. I can't even convince myself that's everything's gonna be fine. Crap! why was it so hard to say something to make someone feel better about their loved one's death? I just told her that I was sorry and that I am sending my hugs and kisses to her and Momsie. Reminded her to be strong.

I went to tha wake the next day. I first saw Momsie sitting across Popsie's coffin. I gave her a comforting hug to help her ease the pain. Then I went in to see Essie. It was so nice to see her wearing that smile cos I know she was fine. Enil (my bestfriend) and Besh (her bf) were also there. Then Joey, Ichu and Nards came in. It was like a reunion. A kind of reunion nobody wants to attend to.

Then I realized, I won't let something like this happen again for us to stay connected and constantly see each other. I promised my self to give enough time for our friendship.

I am still trying to recover from that pain when Nhel (another close friend) sent a message telling about Kuya Lawrence's (brother of Babin, who's also my bestfy) death. I once again felt devastated. Another heartache, another struggle. I went through the same emotions.

I never questioned HIM about death. For me, death is just a part of our lives. The last stage we need to complete for us to see the totality of our existence.

The question is, how soon will it be?